Viking Secrets Underneath
by angrymadsigyn
Summary: Post Avengers, Loki punished to help out, bored Tony beat at his own game, bit of offensive language, implied Thorki, one shot.


The Avengers -except for Thor- were killing time in Tony's lounge in the A-Tower. Fury called and asked them all to meet him. The Thunderer was coming back with him; he was called at S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ, but not allowed to tell anybody the reason.

Loki was present too, bound by a powerful blood oath to help Midgard or face an atrocious detention. Before presented the choice, both Odin and Freyja, the Vanir witch, had to work heavy magic on him to cleanse the influence of the tesseract. The Liesmith wasn't that crazy as to refuse some form of freedom, so Thor cheerfully dragged him back to Earth. The optimistic fool believed they could go back to the old times just so. Loki was all needles and thorns, determined to make everybody uncomfortable around him. At least those who mattered...

Natasha was sitting on the couch absorbed in a crosswords puzzle. Clint was tormenting the remote trying to find an interesting program. Bruce was waiting by the coffee machine and Steve was sketching something. Loki was looking out the window at the swarming humans far below. 'Boring...' Tony thought and decided to pester an alien form of life, specifically the only one present.

"How do you guys stand all that leather and metal on your asses, Frosty?" Tony asked making a face, although Loki was currently dressed in Terran casual garb.

"We wear underclothes, you derp!" Loki snapped. "Not that it would be of any concern to you..."

Bruce snorted and almost chocked on his coffee. Steve cleared his throat, hoping their host may stop this line of conversation.

"Wow! I didn't think you space Vikings knew about undies!" Stark continued recklessly. "I didn't think our local Vikings knew about undies!"

"Because you are a brainless twit! They were mere humans living far north, how in the Nine would they have kept warm without?!"

"What did they make them of? Wool? Itchy, man!" Tony grimaced.

With a graceful wave of his elegant fingers, Loki magicked a pair of long underpants out of thin air and said: "Frost-bleached hemp, you gormless moron..."

Clint winced at the movement and almost jumped up. Natasha gently touched his arm and he relaxed.

Loki tossed the piece of clothing towards their annoying host. Stark caught it warily but when it didn't turn into something nasty he studied it for a while.

"Quite soft... I wouldn't have imagined... Frost-bleached, huh? These yours?" he cheekily asked.

"I don't wear hemp, you boor; I'm not a peasant!" the Liesmith replied, scrunching his nose. "I'm royalty, I wear silk!"

"Uuuh, baby! Hot! I bet that feels sexy to the touch...You have them on now?" Tony wriggled his brows.

Loki pursed his lips and eyed his interlocutor intently. "If you are flirting with me, puny mortal, I strongly advise you to abstain in front of Thor. He can be very... possessive."

Stark furrowed his brows. "What? Are you trying to tell me that you bang your bro?!"

Loki's expression turned pensive. "If by 'bang' you mean 'fuck', I'd say I did it only occasionally, on Thor's rarely occurring passive moods... It used to be more the other way around... Oh, and we're not related, we were only raised as such... although we found that out only shortly..."

Stark was out of words. _Stark was out of words!_ Natasha was hardly able to keep her expression cool and her eyes in the crosswords puzzle. Bruce and Clint giggled openly and Steve went all tomato red.

Tony was still gaping when the Silvertongue came close to him, hips swaying, lids half closed, watching him seductively. "Still interested whether I have them on?" he purred, fluttering his dark lashes.

Iron nerves turned to pudding. Stark wanted to run, but he was like frozen in place. Loki stopped right in front of him, their clothes brushing. Tony felt the Jötun's cool breath on his forehead. He could only stare and gulp when Loki licked his lips with a tantalizing tongue, then bit his lower lip right in front of Tony's eyes. Long cold fingers gently took hold of his hands and slowly guided them around a thin waist. The alluring alien creature was hypnotically staring into his eyes, faint predatory smile on slightly parted lips, mesmerizing him. Loki wasn't wearing a belt and his jeans were a little loose at the waistband. He helped Tony's fingers slid under just a bit, unto the second knuckle. All he could feel was smooth cool skin. His heart lost a beat and he broke the touch abruptly when the elevator door suddenly hissed open.

Thor's murderous glare was hard to miss.


End file.
